I love this! For me "follow your passion" is still good advice, but needs to be tempered with acknowledgment of how the world works. I loved this book I read a few years ago called "real artists don't starve" in which the author talks about how many of the most successful artist/creatives follow their passion WITH a full-time job too, so they're not reliant on their artistry for income, only quitting the job once their art is more established! Anyways that's how I plan to follow my passion :) Thanks for this essay - so interesting as always!
I’m a big believer in this too! If Kafka could churn out so many iconic works while keeping his day job as an insurance clerk, I think the rest of us can produce creative work with a day job too 😅
As a former high school art teacher you are sooo right! About all of it! And who wants to draw horses, anyway? There is some deep down human characteristic that makes us think that drawing means mirroring nature on a surface. It’s hard to accept anything else as “drawing”. As many famous artists have said before- drawing is about seeing. And making your pencil draw what you see. Learning to “see” is first.
And even your advice depends on the cultural context. i grew up in germany from the late 60s to the 80s. trial and error wouldn't have worked, at least in the larger society. because the worst thing that could happen to you is that you make a mistake. the culture of error was and is different in germany than in the usa, for example. if you make mistakes publicly here, you have to expect criticism, sometimes severe. sometimes so severe that the criticized person never recovers. one of the most damaging phrases we boomers were brought up with in germany is:
“What do you want people to think of you if you do that or behave like that?”
This sentence alone has ensured that millions of good ideas have never seen the light of day, innovations have remained unborn and valuable experience has never been gained.
thank you for your great contribution. i would have loved to have read it in the 70s.
As someone who has a blog for posting self-development content, this piece was very important for me to read. There are no specific rules to life, and advice is just everyone’s success stories thrown at each other. Thank you for these tips!!
"context matters. wake up at 5 am and work out sounds great until you realize it was said by a guy with no kids, no commute, and a live-in chef. if someone’s advice doesn’t fit your life, throw it out." Yes Yes Yes - the amount of times I've read a self-help book - and cannot even apply to my own life with three kids under five.
Man, this really hit home, especially the part about how we’re usually looking for validation more than actual advice. It’s so interesting to notice that pattern: How often are we really open to advice that challenges our worldview? And if we instantly reject it, what does that say about what’s holding us back? Sometimes the advice we resist the most is exactly what we need to hear. Loved this piece!
As someone who has to often remind herself to believe in..herself..I also start feeling an existential crisis coming on. The point you made to remember that no one has it all figured out is very freeing.
It feels so much easier looking to others for advise, while you often hold the answers, but it's much more uncomfortable looking in and drawing them out.
This is a great think piece. This is also why I’ve arrived to my passion for helping people uncover their own authenticity. I feel we all are different with extremely different lives, values, and experiences. I’ve never liked one size fits all’ advice for that reason. When we engage in the practice of finding our authenticity, life starts to reflect more of true selves and no one else can tell you what that is. You have to discover on your own. 🫂
Yes to ALL of this. These are things that have run through my own brain as well. Everyone is going to share what worked for THEM. And who knows whether it was a stroke of luck, right place / riight time, nepotism / favouritism, or if it was actually due to their own efforts.
We should all be asking "What have you already tried?" or even "Are you sharing just to let it out, or do you want an opinion?" (I almost typed "guidance" instead of "opinion" but that's honestly what any type of guidance would really be in that situation.) I'm trying to be more mindful of sharing things purposefully and with a few key people I trust (still sometimes get stuck in the "I don't know how to conversate with this person rn so all I can do is watch myself ramble on while out of body" type of sharing).
Or "if you're open to it, I could share what worked for ME just to give you a picture of one potential scenario / pathway to your destination, lmk."
"Notice patterns" -- the key to a good life right here. Patterns in yourself. Patterns in people. In life. Make those big picture connections and find out what works for you.
I love this! For me "follow your passion" is still good advice, but needs to be tempered with acknowledgment of how the world works. I loved this book I read a few years ago called "real artists don't starve" in which the author talks about how many of the most successful artist/creatives follow their passion WITH a full-time job too, so they're not reliant on their artistry for income, only quitting the job once their art is more established! Anyways that's how I plan to follow my passion :) Thanks for this essay - so interesting as always!
I’m a big believer in this too! If Kafka could churn out so many iconic works while keeping his day job as an insurance clerk, I think the rest of us can produce creative work with a day job too 😅
Thank you for the book recommendation! Definitely going to check it out.
As a former high school art teacher you are sooo right! About all of it! And who wants to draw horses, anyway? There is some deep down human characteristic that makes us think that drawing means mirroring nature on a surface. It’s hard to accept anything else as “drawing”. As many famous artists have said before- drawing is about seeing. And making your pencil draw what you see. Learning to “see” is first.
And even your advice depends on the cultural context. i grew up in germany from the late 60s to the 80s. trial and error wouldn't have worked, at least in the larger society. because the worst thing that could happen to you is that you make a mistake. the culture of error was and is different in germany than in the usa, for example. if you make mistakes publicly here, you have to expect criticism, sometimes severe. sometimes so severe that the criticized person never recovers. one of the most damaging phrases we boomers were brought up with in germany is:
“What do you want people to think of you if you do that or behave like that?”
This sentence alone has ensured that millions of good ideas have never seen the light of day, innovations have remained unborn and valuable experience has never been gained.
thank you for your great contribution. i would have loved to have read it in the 70s.
So true that cultural context makes such a huge difference!
I agree, I was raised with that kind of phrases too
"effort matters, but let’s not pretend success is purely a meritocracy." Thanks for saying this. LinkedIn needs to hear this.
As someone who has a blog for posting self-development content, this piece was very important for me to read. There are no specific rules to life, and advice is just everyone’s success stories thrown at each other. Thank you for these tips!!
"context matters. wake up at 5 am and work out sounds great until you realize it was said by a guy with no kids, no commute, and a live-in chef. if someone’s advice doesn’t fit your life, throw it out." Yes Yes Yes - the amount of times I've read a self-help book - and cannot even apply to my own life with three kids under five.
Man, this really hit home, especially the part about how we’re usually looking for validation more than actual advice. It’s so interesting to notice that pattern: How often are we really open to advice that challenges our worldview? And if we instantly reject it, what does that say about what’s holding us back? Sometimes the advice we resist the most is exactly what we need to hear. Loved this piece!
As someone who has to often remind herself to believe in..herself..I also start feeling an existential crisis coming on. The point you made to remember that no one has it all figured out is very freeing.
Specifically thanks for the last paragraph.
It feels so much easier looking to others for advise, while you often hold the answers, but it's much more uncomfortable looking in and drawing them out.
Thanks for the reminder!
This is a great think piece. This is also why I’ve arrived to my passion for helping people uncover their own authenticity. I feel we all are different with extremely different lives, values, and experiences. I’ve never liked one size fits all’ advice for that reason. When we engage in the practice of finding our authenticity, life starts to reflect more of true selves and no one else can tell you what that is. You have to discover on your own. 🫂
This is so important. Advice is subjective more often than not
Loved this! I used to take advice from peers as if it were gospel. Then I learned that they’re no more mature than me to know what is best.
Very true, great job!
Yes to ALL of this. These are things that have run through my own brain as well. Everyone is going to share what worked for THEM. And who knows whether it was a stroke of luck, right place / riight time, nepotism / favouritism, or if it was actually due to their own efforts.
We should all be asking "What have you already tried?" or even "Are you sharing just to let it out, or do you want an opinion?" (I almost typed "guidance" instead of "opinion" but that's honestly what any type of guidance would really be in that situation.) I'm trying to be more mindful of sharing things purposefully and with a few key people I trust (still sometimes get stuck in the "I don't know how to conversate with this person rn so all I can do is watch myself ramble on while out of body" type of sharing).
Or "if you're open to it, I could share what worked for ME just to give you a picture of one potential scenario / pathway to your destination, lmk."
We all just gotta do what feels right to us.
"Notice patterns" -- the key to a good life right here. Patterns in yourself. Patterns in people. In life. Make those big picture connections and find out what works for you.
woww, it's amazinggg, loved it <3