This post, oh my god. Exactlyyy what I needed to read today. I am in a transitional space, between resigning from my business and huge career and the unknown of what’s next. I spend my days “resting”, wondering if I’ve made the most of the day, achieved enough or had enough focus. I fear daily that I’m wasting my days and measure its success by how much I got done (yesterday it was clearing down my personal emails and unsubscribing en mass). This is the stark reminder to start to look at my days differently. I’ll be focused on this from now on -
“what if we started measuring our days not by how productive they were, but by how peaceful they felt?”
A subtle, yet profound shift. I hung onto every word of this post, resonating deeper with each paragraph. Thank you for articulating the choice so many of us struggle with, whether explicit or not: productivity or peace? Perhaps we can move toward a space where both can exist in their own ways, neither one dictating or determining the quality of the other.
Thank you for this thought-provoking post! Perhaps a bit more densely philosophical than the ones you listed, but in his book “The Uncontrollability of the World,” the sociologist Hartmut Rosa makes a really interesting case that in the modern world we often demand control, when what we really want is resonance—the type of transformative encounters that only happen when we cede control and are moved by the unexpected (art, beauty, silence, etc). This post feels very much in conversation with many of the ideas in there. Both point towards a feeling of alienation, anxiety, or dislocation that comes from our confused orientation.
I’ve dealt with good girl syndrome for as long as I can remember. I am supposed to take care of everyone, especially emotionally, and I am supposed to be successful in every aspect of my life. Good grades, good at my sport, a good friend, an understanding partner and a daughter my parents can brag about to their friends. Everyone thought I was so driven and ambitious when I went to law school, but I never felt that it aligned with who I am as a person. How I see myself. It took many years to accept that I am so much more than what I perform, and this made me feel less alone with my thoughts regarding this. Thank you so much. <3
This is a fantastic piece, thank you. I’ve been writing around a similar topic recently; one piece about a day of doing nothing (which I initially really struggled with), and another about pleasing myself (where I chose one intention for the day to focus on). Both practices are actually changing the way I live, how happy I am, and how peaceful I feel. I’d love you to check them out if you’re interested. Otherwise just keep going, I love your work!
In Christianity there are two dominant strains of how salvation is achieved. The first is faith based where we understand God favors us with unmerited grace. Grace we don't deserve. The second can be called works based, where we think that we must constantly earn God's favor. The Bible is clear that we are saved by God's grace through faith. However, those of us who are performance driven have a hard time accepting this. We are used to the "go-go" lifestyle where we are in constant motion. Translated into a Christian worldview, tthat is works based salvation. Your article is akin to faith based salvation, where you relax, quit worrying so much about performance and care more about relationships. Bravo!
The notion of knowing who you are when there's no one else in the room is something that has stuck with me. It helps me remember that I don't need to do something just because of what someone else thinks, or *might* think. That shit is exhausting. I've recently also been acknowledging that I do a lot (instead of minimizing it or accepting it as just part of my "role") and at any given moment, when I feel like I need to rest, I take that rest.
I think I needed to read it today, I've been in that grieving and transitioning phase of my life and it's a constant guilt that I'm not doing enough . However I'm trying to rewire my brain chemistry and taking on days one breath a moment.
In my mind, there lives a little fox underneath a maple tree. Peak spring. This fox visits me throughout the day and when she does, it is a reminder to bring peace, gentleness, and ease into the moment and day 💛
The speed that was enforced in our lives even affects daily duties. For me, going to sleep early had become draining, like a box that I have to check and not fulfilling all of them seems a failing (and I sleep way less than I should). I have forgotten that it is for my good, to rest well, because I deserve it. For my own pace, not to measure my success on my tasks.
Just a gentle reminder: we cannot 'stand under the shower a little too long.' We have to save water! Your take on peace is the best I have read here. I found myself nodding to everything you reflected on. Where can I find this oasis of piece/peace? You see, my fingers type 'piece' first! Because peace no longer exists in the restless world we live in. Or does it, in some forgotten recess lost within me? Thanks for this.
Love this. Today during meditation practice we were prompted to think on one of our enduring values. I chose “protecting the peace” as mine and immediately felt a little ping of guilt even thinking about it. Traditional religious/spiritual practices frequently frown on lack of productivity as slothfulness/laziness, refusing to accept them as virtues. I had a hard time finding the words to justify my enduring value and this article does it masterfully. Thank you for your words and thoughts.
Several years ago one of my insightful friends told me to “quit keeping score”. Makes more sense now. Thanks for this! Very impactful! ❤️
To quit the Matrix is my goal 🥹❤️
This post, oh my god. Exactlyyy what I needed to read today. I am in a transitional space, between resigning from my business and huge career and the unknown of what’s next. I spend my days “resting”, wondering if I’ve made the most of the day, achieved enough or had enough focus. I fear daily that I’m wasting my days and measure its success by how much I got done (yesterday it was clearing down my personal emails and unsubscribing en mass). This is the stark reminder to start to look at my days differently. I’ll be focused on this from now on -
“what if we started measuring our days not by how productive they were, but by how peaceful they felt?”
A subtle, yet profound shift. I hung onto every word of this post, resonating deeper with each paragraph. Thank you for articulating the choice so many of us struggle with, whether explicit or not: productivity or peace? Perhaps we can move toward a space where both can exist in their own ways, neither one dictating or determining the quality of the other.
Thank you for this thought-provoking post! Perhaps a bit more densely philosophical than the ones you listed, but in his book “The Uncontrollability of the World,” the sociologist Hartmut Rosa makes a really interesting case that in the modern world we often demand control, when what we really want is resonance—the type of transformative encounters that only happen when we cede control and are moved by the unexpected (art, beauty, silence, etc). This post feels very much in conversation with many of the ideas in there. Both point towards a feeling of alienation, anxiety, or dislocation that comes from our confused orientation.
I’ve dealt with good girl syndrome for as long as I can remember. I am supposed to take care of everyone, especially emotionally, and I am supposed to be successful in every aspect of my life. Good grades, good at my sport, a good friend, an understanding partner and a daughter my parents can brag about to their friends. Everyone thought I was so driven and ambitious when I went to law school, but I never felt that it aligned with who I am as a person. How I see myself. It took many years to accept that I am so much more than what I perform, and this made me feel less alone with my thoughts regarding this. Thank you so much. <3
This is so similar to Jia Tolentino's essay "Always Be Optimizing" in her book Trick Mirror! Great post.
This is a fantastic piece, thank you. I’ve been writing around a similar topic recently; one piece about a day of doing nothing (which I initially really struggled with), and another about pleasing myself (where I chose one intention for the day to focus on). Both practices are actually changing the way I live, how happy I am, and how peaceful I feel. I’d love you to check them out if you’re interested. Otherwise just keep going, I love your work!
In Christianity there are two dominant strains of how salvation is achieved. The first is faith based where we understand God favors us with unmerited grace. Grace we don't deserve. The second can be called works based, where we think that we must constantly earn God's favor. The Bible is clear that we are saved by God's grace through faith. However, those of us who are performance driven have a hard time accepting this. We are used to the "go-go" lifestyle where we are in constant motion. Translated into a Christian worldview, tthat is works based salvation. Your article is akin to faith based salvation, where you relax, quit worrying so much about performance and care more about relationships. Bravo!
The notion of knowing who you are when there's no one else in the room is something that has stuck with me. It helps me remember that I don't need to do something just because of what someone else thinks, or *might* think. That shit is exhausting. I've recently also been acknowledging that I do a lot (instead of minimizing it or accepting it as just part of my "role") and at any given moment, when I feel like I need to rest, I take that rest.
I think I needed to read it today, I've been in that grieving and transitioning phase of my life and it's a constant guilt that I'm not doing enough . However I'm trying to rewire my brain chemistry and taking on days one breath a moment.
In my mind, there lives a little fox underneath a maple tree. Peak spring. This fox visits me throughout the day and when she does, it is a reminder to bring peace, gentleness, and ease into the moment and day 💛
I guess coincidentally given my screen name -- here's a little reminder for today to bring in a little peace to your day c:
The speed that was enforced in our lives even affects daily duties. For me, going to sleep early had become draining, like a box that I have to check and not fulfilling all of them seems a failing (and I sleep way less than I should). I have forgotten that it is for my good, to rest well, because I deserve it. For my own pace, not to measure my success on my tasks.
Just a gentle reminder: we cannot 'stand under the shower a little too long.' We have to save water! Your take on peace is the best I have read here. I found myself nodding to everything you reflected on. Where can I find this oasis of piece/peace? You see, my fingers type 'piece' first! Because peace no longer exists in the restless world we live in. Or does it, in some forgotten recess lost within me? Thanks for this.
“peeling fruit in silence” - amen sister.
Recently, I’ve been going on walks with no headphones in. It’s interesting how just the natural sounds of a busy city seem novel now.
Love this. Today during meditation practice we were prompted to think on one of our enduring values. I chose “protecting the peace” as mine and immediately felt a little ping of guilt even thinking about it. Traditional religious/spiritual practices frequently frown on lack of productivity as slothfulness/laziness, refusing to accept them as virtues. I had a hard time finding the words to justify my enduring value and this article does it masterfully. Thank you for your words and thoughts.