This morning I was journaling about why I am trying so hard at everything and feel depleted all the time. I am recovering from shame and conditioning where worth is tied to titles, degrees, and job. This resonated so much at a deeper level.
As a child that had the pressure of one scientist parent and one immigrant parent that started a movement in a city…this article cut deep! I’m still working out how to view “purpose” differently (which is funny, because it’s my namesake). I realized through my early 20s, I’ve been telling myself my purpose is to uplift other peoples voices…when in reality that’s because I’ve never been fully heard myself. I love your work❤️🩹
Outstanding! I'm trying to cultivate more discernment into my day to day, because so many experiences / feelings feel and look similar to others. Rest is a big one: am I actually resting, or am I performing rest? The discernment here is watching reality tv vs reading literary fiction. The false narrative: silly girls watch bad reality tv. Smart girls read. Literary fiction is a deep love of mine, but even the things I know are "good for me" may not be what I need in the moment.
For a long time, ambition was my survival story. I was chasing a dream I never truly chose—just one I inherited. I thought success would save me from the ache of simply existing, of being different. But the more I achieved, the more I felt the quiet grief of abandoning myself. Thank you for giving words to that invisible weight. I’m learning now to choose from wholeness, not from fear.
I'm in awe of the way your mind works, the things you are able to say. "no one tells you that ambition, left unchecked, can become a form of chronic self-abandonment." Mired in the everydayness of my world, I'm just thinking, "Don't forget to soak the beans." "Use a couple drops of that water-peroxide solution to get the crud out of my left ear." "What's happening to my sense of smell?" I like the mire. And seem incapable of getting to the upper atmosphere the way you do.
This morning I was journaling about why I am trying so hard at everything and feel depleted all the time. I am recovering from shame and conditioning where worth is tied to titles, degrees, and job. This resonated so much at a deeper level.
"ambition, left unchecked, can become a form of chronic self-abandonment"
^^send that on a pack of stickers or something to every gifted & talented program in American high schools 🫠
As a child that had the pressure of one scientist parent and one immigrant parent that started a movement in a city…this article cut deep! I’m still working out how to view “purpose” differently (which is funny, because it’s my namesake). I realized through my early 20s, I’ve been telling myself my purpose is to uplift other peoples voices…when in reality that’s because I’ve never been fully heard myself. I love your work❤️🩹
Outstanding! I'm trying to cultivate more discernment into my day to day, because so many experiences / feelings feel and look similar to others. Rest is a big one: am I actually resting, or am I performing rest? The discernment here is watching reality tv vs reading literary fiction. The false narrative: silly girls watch bad reality tv. Smart girls read. Literary fiction is a deep love of mine, but even the things I know are "good for me" may not be what I need in the moment.
The only thing I can say is: FELT!
For a long time, ambition was my survival story. I was chasing a dream I never truly chose—just one I inherited. I thought success would save me from the ache of simply existing, of being different. But the more I achieved, the more I felt the quiet grief of abandoning myself. Thank you for giving words to that invisible weight. I’m learning now to choose from wholeness, not from fear.
I read the last paragraph and my brain did that thing where it had to re-read it three more times to soak in all the truth. You write beautifully :)
You are able to articulate things that are so difficult to clearly discern - really helpful.
I really needed to hear it. Every single line was like a bucket of ice water falling on my head.
Ambition that isn’t performative - that’s the goal! Beautifully put in words. ♥️
first sentence hit me like a bullet train
A really beautiful piece of writing. So resonant. Thank you for sharing this x
A a child of immigrants, this is 100 percent a truth.
This is beautiful writing
I'm in awe of the way your mind works, the things you are able to say. "no one tells you that ambition, left unchecked, can become a form of chronic self-abandonment." Mired in the everydayness of my world, I'm just thinking, "Don't forget to soak the beans." "Use a couple drops of that water-peroxide solution to get the crud out of my left ear." "What's happening to my sense of smell?" I like the mire. And seem incapable of getting to the upper atmosphere the way you do.
You always manage to post articles that I need just at the right time. Never stop writing on here. Thank you