I’ve been stuck in a functional freeze for months and it’s been exhausting. There’s so much I want to do and some days I just feel like I can’t. I’m so ready to return to living and not just existing. This was truly helpful. I can feel how much progress I’ve made just going through each of these points and it inspires me to begin my way back.
I have been stuck in freeze for 6 years now, no routines, nothing. The first thing that is sticking IN MY LIFE is floorsitting. It is sooo great. You dont need discipline or habit building for it, and its a great setup for everything else. Now im on the floor I stretch automatically, paint because the stuff is right there and more. It is a great first start!
I’m feeling so stuck lately. I like the phrase functional freeze. I get mad at myself for not doing *more*. I want to do so much and regularly feel like I’m wasting time or just don’t have time.
“Growth is quiet” - so beautiful and true. Also, until it isn’t. Letting people in is an important part of the process, as we aren’t meant to do it alone. And yes I agree, that in-between space while we figure out who we want to share our vulnerabilities with, can feel isolating. I love your writing btw.
YES. I’m not exaggerating when I say my husband and I lost ALL of our friends when we started shifting (and quit drinking). So much so that we moved—we no longer had any reasons to stay. It wasn’t a bad thing—we had outgrown those friendships and had nothing in common any more. But it WAS profoundly lonely.
This is so helpful to see, ty for sharing! Currently in a similar situation-just didn’t feel like drinking anymore last year and noticed how much of my social activities revolved around that.
I’ve slowly removed myself from social media and honestly…I haven’t had any of my “friends” reach out once this year to check up on me.
I’m seriously debating moving, even though this state was my dream, but feeling like ive outgrown it and in that weird, lonely “in between” period of “should I stay or should I go?”
i woke up feeling the exact same way. I woke up feeling what i called “in the middle”. I wrote my sentiments out to get me through the day too. Its comforting to read someone else words to know i am not alone even when i feel alone. Thank you!
"there’s an awkward in-between where your old world no longer fits, but the new one hasn’t arrived yet. and in that waiting period, loneliness settles in like an old, familiar ache." Very, very resonant for me!
This piece is so beautiful on on point! As someone who is aware of just how impatient she is my self growth journey has helped me unlearn being impatient and embrace the power that comes from having patience. Do I have it mastered? Absolutely not! But I am discovering that channeling some patience in my life isn’t as hard as I once thought it was and the rewards are fabulous!
I can totally relate to this! The outgrowing people part really made me understand my frustration of being stuck in this awkward phase-I'll be graduating soon and I can't relate to most of my college friends anymore. I had a lot of self-growth in the last 5 months after a breakup, and I now know my core values better. Hanging out with my friends only takes me back to being a version of myself that is not who I currently am. I can't wait to move to a new city after graduating and making new friends that have the same core values as the new me.
This struck a cord with me. I’ve been trying to keep a more positive mindset and start off great but after a few months, it gets harder to keep and I start slipping into negative thoughts again. Trying to build confidence in myself and overall, just be happier but wow, nobody talks about the WORK this takes and how much negativity can surround you. Some days, I just don’t want to keep the positive mindset because it takes discipline but that’s what you have to do. I always thought happiness just naturally exists-not really. You have to CHOOSE to be happy just like you have to choose your attitude daily-every moment. Plus, what we read, watch, listen to, look at-all factors into our mindset which is crazyyy!!! Thank you for writing this!
I can so relate. Growth is never linear. There are all seasons. Seasons of failure, slump, high energy, & at times nothingness. It is lonely but in the end, you again rewire to do better. And I hope we all do this for a better tomorrow. It is such a good reminder!
I love this. I feel seen. I have been so isolated and lonely as I grow and shed my old life and ways. Grief and loneliness are always boiling up in me. Thank you for the reminder. I keep telling myself it’s for the best, but I don’t see the other side, yet.
Yess the part about people not accepting the new version of you. This is always hardest for me because I don’t want to be “trapped in time”. I just choose to surround myself with people who accept all of me for me.. but it def comes with loneliness because my social circle has gotten so small in the name of personal peace. I just don’t want hollow relationships and tend to distance myself the second I feel like someone isn’t good for my mental health lol.
Absolutely agree this is beautiful and spot on. I remember that in between space and you take on a hero’s journey which can be difficult and lonely as you explain beautifully. The end result is so worth it . Thanks for such an encouraging and insightful piece
I’ve been stuck in a functional freeze for months and it’s been exhausting. There’s so much I want to do and some days I just feel like I can’t. I’m so ready to return to living and not just existing. This was truly helpful. I can feel how much progress I’ve made just going through each of these points and it inspires me to begin my way back.
I have been stuck in freeze for 6 years now, no routines, nothing. The first thing that is sticking IN MY LIFE is floorsitting. It is sooo great. You dont need discipline or habit building for it, and its a great setup for everything else. Now im on the floor I stretch automatically, paint because the stuff is right there and more. It is a great first start!
I’m feeling so stuck lately. I like the phrase functional freeze. I get mad at myself for not doing *more*. I want to do so much and regularly feel like I’m wasting time or just don’t have time.
“Growth is quiet” - so beautiful and true. Also, until it isn’t. Letting people in is an important part of the process, as we aren’t meant to do it alone. And yes I agree, that in-between space while we figure out who we want to share our vulnerabilities with, can feel isolating. I love your writing btw.
YES. I’m not exaggerating when I say my husband and I lost ALL of our friends when we started shifting (and quit drinking). So much so that we moved—we no longer had any reasons to stay. It wasn’t a bad thing—we had outgrown those friendships and had nothing in common any more. But it WAS profoundly lonely.
This is so helpful to see, ty for sharing! Currently in a similar situation-just didn’t feel like drinking anymore last year and noticed how much of my social activities revolved around that.
I’ve slowly removed myself from social media and honestly…I haven’t had any of my “friends” reach out once this year to check up on me.
I’m seriously debating moving, even though this state was my dream, but feeling like ive outgrown it and in that weird, lonely “in between” period of “should I stay or should I go?”
i woke up feeling the exact same way. I woke up feeling what i called “in the middle”. I wrote my sentiments out to get me through the day too. Its comforting to read someone else words to know i am not alone even when i feel alone. Thank you!
"there’s an awkward in-between where your old world no longer fits, but the new one hasn’t arrived yet. and in that waiting period, loneliness settles in like an old, familiar ache." Very, very resonant for me!
This piece is so beautiful on on point! As someone who is aware of just how impatient she is my self growth journey has helped me unlearn being impatient and embrace the power that comes from having patience. Do I have it mastered? Absolutely not! But I am discovering that channeling some patience in my life isn’t as hard as I once thought it was and the rewards are fabulous!
I think the only word I have left that you left me with was damn.
I can totally relate to this! The outgrowing people part really made me understand my frustration of being stuck in this awkward phase-I'll be graduating soon and I can't relate to most of my college friends anymore. I had a lot of self-growth in the last 5 months after a breakup, and I now know my core values better. Hanging out with my friends only takes me back to being a version of myself that is not who I currently am. I can't wait to move to a new city after graduating and making new friends that have the same core values as the new me.
This struck a cord with me. I’ve been trying to keep a more positive mindset and start off great but after a few months, it gets harder to keep and I start slipping into negative thoughts again. Trying to build confidence in myself and overall, just be happier but wow, nobody talks about the WORK this takes and how much negativity can surround you. Some days, I just don’t want to keep the positive mindset because it takes discipline but that’s what you have to do. I always thought happiness just naturally exists-not really. You have to CHOOSE to be happy just like you have to choose your attitude daily-every moment. Plus, what we read, watch, listen to, look at-all factors into our mindset which is crazyyy!!! Thank you for writing this!
Wow. Very few substacks speak to where I am in this specific stage of my life — but yours did. Thank you. Keep writing.
I can so relate. Growth is never linear. There are all seasons. Seasons of failure, slump, high energy, & at times nothingness. It is lonely but in the end, you again rewire to do better. And I hope we all do this for a better tomorrow. It is such a good reminder!
I love this. I feel seen. I have been so isolated and lonely as I grow and shed my old life and ways. Grief and loneliness are always boiling up in me. Thank you for the reminder. I keep telling myself it’s for the best, but I don’t see the other side, yet.
Yess the part about people not accepting the new version of you. This is always hardest for me because I don’t want to be “trapped in time”. I just choose to surround myself with people who accept all of me for me.. but it def comes with loneliness because my social circle has gotten so small in the name of personal peace. I just don’t want hollow relationships and tend to distance myself the second I feel like someone isn’t good for my mental health lol.
Absolutely agree this is beautiful and spot on. I remember that in between space and you take on a hero’s journey which can be difficult and lonely as you explain beautifully. The end result is so worth it . Thanks for such an encouraging and insightful piece
It do be like that but I love it. No one bothers you. No one can stop you from becoming YOU again this time.
It’s the effort part of self improvement for me! But I’m learning to become comfortable with doing hard things, to make my life easy