there was a time when i thought self-care had to be loud—morning alarms at 5 am, skincare routines with 12 steps, planners filled with color-coded tasks.
"some nights, i watch a show i’ve already seen a hundred times" this makes me feel so much better about having already watched gilmore girls 13 times since 2018.
I do the same thing and always thought the habit was a waste of time or an excuse to avoid doing something more productive. Now I'll look at it as a way to comfort myself.
i am so glad there are 344 of you who liked this comment—i feel so seen!! 😆🩷 it’s been circulating on the ‘gram lately that research suggests rewatching the same shows is a form of emotional regulation.. is that a win for us? i’m not sure but i’m taking it 😗
One of the best things I ever did was to live Tweet the Gilmore Girls during the Gilmore the Merrier marathons for UPtv. My job has had a lot of fun moments for sure.
i’m gonna be honest i have always disliked the idea of watching real housewives 🫣 but if you like gilmore girls.. and also this.. maybe i will have to give it a go 👀
Give it a go when you feel like it, I didn’t like Sex and the city until I turned 24 and I still didn’t watch friends (I tried but miserably failed). So maybe it is not the right time 🫶🏻
Doing things at 70% (or lower), and allowing myself to do this badly have been life changing concepts for me over the past year. I remember seeing a Tumblr post of all things that’s like “If it’s something worth doing it’s worth doing badly” and I always repeat that to myself when I’m feeling stuck. Usually, once I get started, the tasks magically dwindle too!
I use the same quote along with "doing smth badly is better than doing nothing at all" and "just make it exist first, then you can make it good later". Changed my whole approach on everything and most of the times I discover that I actually can't make bad things even if I try it. My bare minimum, when not thinking, is still a high quality one to me when I'm in that shitty mood. And that actually is very reassuring!
I loved that point too! I read a quote in January that said "be ok with being bad at delightful new things" and it's been replaying in my mind ever since. Such an important lesson for me as a recovering perfectionist that struggles with starting things if I think I can't be 100% at it.
this makes me so happy. when i was depressed i struggled so badly with low energy. now that i’m doing better, it’s been so difficult to capture that in words & give advice. moving forward at 70% is a game changer! and keeping a soft item nearby is so thoughtful. thank you for this
Bravo! Contrast this to Leslie Stephens "Morning Person" newsletter today. No disrespect--I love her newsletter to death, but I don't have her Type personality and drive. We're all different humans, with varying energy and stages of life. I relate to your routine in every single way. "Low-effort joy" is right up my wheelhouse.
that newsletter brings up really complicated emotions for me. it's a see-saw of "105 Things to Do to Organize Your Life Better" and "65 Ways to Slow Down." it's like one side of the brain isn't talking to the other.
Thank you both for voicing this. I also love, love her newsletter, but you've voiced a lingering feeling that I hadn't been able to fully pinpoint. I'm in such a sad, unproductive, un-optimized season of my life and low-effort joy was exactly the balm my fragile lil heart needed!
I love this, but especially #6. I've struggled with the term "self-care." While I know it's important to take care of yourself, sometimes that does feel hard or unclear. I love your reframe, thank you!
„wearing perfume even when i’m home“ - i do so, too and for me it’s self-love, being generös with myself. Love all the ideas, will take some into my every day life ♥️
The Jeff Bezos couture works for work, as well. Find a good outfit. Buy several pairs of whatever is in it, if that is affordable. Wear it every day. Congratulations! You have added back a few hours per week into your life and divorced yourself from endless frustration. If you are wondering when you wore the outfit last, the answer will always be 'yesterday,' so that is one less thing to worry about as well.
Thanks for the 'likes' from fellow sub-stackers, but I was, of course, wrong in my attribution. It was Steve Jobs, not Jeff Bezos, who rocked the Sameness Style Wardrobe. Humble apologies!
I thought you meant shop chez Amazon. I am 70+, new to substacks (needed something politically positive) , and frankly most of the content of this kind seems very very young to me. I wondered what would be new in this article. I don’t like Bezos, but Amazon clothing used to be great cheap chic. I bought 6 pairs of linen pants for under $200, and for year or so wore them to country club, cafes, even a yacht, as well as dictors appointments, grocery store etc etc. 3different colors. Not quite as thin and fine a fabricas CP Shades, but not that much different-a few washes in and they flow. I have two of CP , and I mistake one brand for the other all the time. It’s saved me unbelievable anount of summer clothing anxiety. So that suggestion in this article is my favorite.
This piece is a perfect reflection of what so many of us need to hear. It gently dismantles the often toxic idea of self-care being a grand, exhausting pursuit, and instead, it celebrates the beauty of the small, everyday gestures that bring comfort and softness to our lives. Thank you for this
this is such a thoughtful, helpful post. I think I’ll be saving and re-reading. I wear scented oil blends while home, and I even have “house lipstick,” which is exactly what it sounds like. I have special lipstick for lounging :)
"some nights, i watch a show i’ve already seen a hundred times" this makes me feel so much better about having already watched gilmore girls 13 times since 2018.
same there’s literally no better comfort show
I do the same thing and always thought the habit was a waste of time or an excuse to avoid doing something more productive. Now I'll look at it as a way to comfort myself.
same! So comforting.
why don't they create epic shows like that anymore? love it!
i am so glad there are 344 of you who liked this comment—i feel so seen!! 😆🩷 it’s been circulating on the ‘gram lately that research suggests rewatching the same shows is a form of emotional regulation.. is that a win for us? i’m not sure but i’m taking it 😗
One of the best things I ever did was to live Tweet the Gilmore Girls during the Gilmore the Merrier marathons for UPtv. My job has had a lot of fun moments for sure.
This is 100% the show I was thinking of, too. The coziest!
yess omg sameeee
Love a good Gilmore girls rewatch! Same with How I Met Your Mother and Schitt’s Creek!
i haven’t seen either of these but i have been meaning to watch HIMYM !!
This show is one of my go to when I need comfort. Also, I absolutely adore Full House and Real Housewives 🫣
i’m gonna be honest i have always disliked the idea of watching real housewives 🫣 but if you like gilmore girls.. and also this.. maybe i will have to give it a go 👀
Give it a go when you feel like it, I didn’t like Sex and the city until I turned 24 and I still didn’t watch friends (I tried but miserably failed). So maybe it is not the right time 🫶🏻
Gilmore Girls is my go to show as well!
Gilmore Girls is also my go-to….
So that was YOU in the other room! 🤭 hi fren, same here, that’s my comfort show as well. On a loop from 2012-2020, and back again like it never left.
Doing things at 70% (or lower), and allowing myself to do this badly have been life changing concepts for me over the past year. I remember seeing a Tumblr post of all things that’s like “If it’s something worth doing it’s worth doing badly” and I always repeat that to myself when I’m feeling stuck. Usually, once I get started, the tasks magically dwindle too!
I use the same quote along with "doing smth badly is better than doing nothing at all" and "just make it exist first, then you can make it good later". Changed my whole approach on everything and most of the times I discover that I actually can't make bad things even if I try it. My bare minimum, when not thinking, is still a high quality one to me when I'm in that shitty mood. And that actually is very reassuring!
I loved that point too! I read a quote in January that said "be ok with being bad at delightful new things" and it's been replaying in my mind ever since. Such an important lesson for me as a recovering perfectionist that struggles with starting things if I think I can't be 100% at it.
this makes me so happy. when i was depressed i struggled so badly with low energy. now that i’m doing better, it’s been so difficult to capture that in words & give advice. moving forward at 70% is a game changer! and keeping a soft item nearby is so thoughtful. thank you for this
depression core 🩵
Bravo! Contrast this to Leslie Stephens "Morning Person" newsletter today. No disrespect--I love her newsletter to death, but I don't have her Type personality and drive. We're all different humans, with varying energy and stages of life. I relate to your routine in every single way. "Low-effort joy" is right up my wheelhouse.
that newsletter brings up really complicated emotions for me. it's a see-saw of "105 Things to Do to Organize Your Life Better" and "65 Ways to Slow Down." it's like one side of the brain isn't talking to the other.
Thank you both for voicing this. I also love, love her newsletter, but you've voiced a lingering feeling that I hadn't been able to fully pinpoint. I'm in such a sad, unproductive, un-optimized season of my life and low-effort joy was exactly the balm my fragile lil heart needed!
Reading this was comforting, the Japanese jazz am stealing that . Thank you .
I love this, but especially #6. I've struggled with the term "self-care." While I know it's important to take care of yourself, sometimes that does feel hard or unclear. I love your reframe, thank you!
This is really great- may I ask if you’ll share your background playlist ?
„wearing perfume even when i’m home“ - i do so, too and for me it’s self-love, being generös with myself. Love all the ideas, will take some into my every day life ♥️
I wear it to bed sometimes …
the go to outfit is genuinely such a good idea im stealing that thank you
The Jeff Bezos couture works for work, as well. Find a good outfit. Buy several pairs of whatever is in it, if that is affordable. Wear it every day. Congratulations! You have added back a few hours per week into your life and divorced yourself from endless frustration. If you are wondering when you wore the outfit last, the answer will always be 'yesterday,' so that is one less thing to worry about as well.
Thanks for the 'likes' from fellow sub-stackers, but I was, of course, wrong in my attribution. It was Steve Jobs, not Jeff Bezos, who rocked the Sameness Style Wardrobe. Humble apologies!
I thought you meant shop chez Amazon. I am 70+, new to substacks (needed something politically positive) , and frankly most of the content of this kind seems very very young to me. I wondered what would be new in this article. I don’t like Bezos, but Amazon clothing used to be great cheap chic. I bought 6 pairs of linen pants for under $200, and for year or so wore them to country club, cafes, even a yacht, as well as dictors appointments, grocery store etc etc. 3different colors. Not quite as thin and fine a fabricas CP Shades, but not that much different-a few washes in and they flow. I have two of CP , and I mistake one brand for the other all the time. It’s saved me unbelievable anount of summer clothing anxiety. So that suggestion in this article is my favorite.
Reading this newsletter made me feel better. This is my low energy joy this evening ❤️ thanks
this is so so so beautiful. i really did need this.
made my week <3
This is beautiful! Low lighting, the sound of rain against the window, soft blankets and socks. 🙏
This piece is a perfect reflection of what so many of us need to hear. It gently dismantles the often toxic idea of self-care being a grand, exhausting pursuit, and instead, it celebrates the beauty of the small, everyday gestures that bring comfort and softness to our lives. Thank you for this
You have literally written my favourite newsletter of 2025 already ❤️
This newsletter is like a warm blanket. The wine glass trick is so true, thanks for the reminder!🍷
this is such a thoughtful, helpful post. I think I’ll be saving and re-reading. I wear scented oil blends while home, and I even have “house lipstick,” which is exactly what it sounds like. I have special lipstick for lounging :)