Good morning....and I mean that unconditionally! I wish you a "good morning" as a hope for you and a greeting too.
I understand the concept that you describe so well. I'm a registered nurse and have been for 44 years. The care that I like to give to people that I have the privilege of meeting in my job, is genuine and unconditional. Yes, it's my job, my profession, my training, but I do believe that we need to access ourselves too. Our innate human kind- that's apt to use too isn't it! We are human beings, not human doings as I'm often reminded. But it's easier to ' do' something without much thought,than 'be' something unconditionally for others, with a genuine spirit of humility.
I really enjoy reading your posts, thank you so much for your inspiration and sharing of thoughts. 😌
I love this perception! I’m in my final year of nursing school and I want my profession to be more than that. I want it to be genuine and unconditional. Thank you for sharing!
I feel like so much of todays world suffers of this same lack. Its all doing without the feeling behind it. And its just not the same. We build houses, but they have no character anymore. We know how to talk therapy talk, but we forgot to focus on the most important part: the feeling behind those words. So now it all feels like a performance, but you cant say anything because technically theyre saying it right. We do all these things that are supposed to make our lifes better, easier, happier. But its all a performance. And thus it doesnt work. It leaves us feeling empty. And maybe even more depleted. Because instead of taking care of ourselves, we were just doing another performance.
As someone who has shrunk or overexerted myself, sacrificing my comfort for someone else's often, this post was helpful. I appreciated the part about how kindness is expensive, and it doesn't only take the form of being "nice" or pleasing someone. Sometimes, kindness involves leaving a situation, speaking your truth, or breaking a cycle.
It's giving people the opportunity to really show up and to feel, rather than the levitation we all seem to be engaged in as we float through our days surfing the internet, double-tapping, monitoring our imessage notifications, like we're at a slot machine.
I personally feel a bit drained and know I am not alone in this feeling. I feel I've given too much without really checking in with what I need and communicating that accordingly. I'm trying to reclaim my own kindness and redefine how I exhibit it... my difference between being polite and being nice.
We are overwhelmed by hundreds of thousands of things daily, most of us are carrying the world's problems on our very shoulders, afraid that with another person's burdens we may collapse. To me, the first step we all should take towards moving closer to kindness is to better understand how we can embody it within.
Nowadays I see how people are surprised when you show a little kindness, I think this society has robotised us more than we would like to accept. But in a chaotic world, both personally and generally, honest kindness can make a difference 🤍.
I have a group of friends I hold close to my heart, who showed me the kindness you spoke of. They held my ears open to the hard words I needed to hear but no one else dared to, saw through the “no worries” I’d always say out of habit, and they just kept showing up for me. Until I realised this had been silently mending up the broken state I didn’t even know I was in—and changed me for the better.
It wasn’t until we all had to go our separate ways—and I found myself wanting to be that person for others—that I truly understood how hard it actually is to do that well. I used to think they were simply gifted in their personality, able to give so freely, but now I see the weight of that choice. And still, because I’ve known what it feels like to receive it and the difference it can make, I’ll keep trying to show up, too. These moments of kindness definitely will make the world a better place.
I think I’ll take a moment today to tell those friends how much they mean to me. Thank you so much for writing this. ❤️
I live in Texas and politeness is a way of life. Extended ‘thank yous’, ‘maams’, ‘sirs’, holding doors as an expectation, and all the other niceties.
I agree that we have become programmed to operate a way that we no longer understand why. Some people wear it like a badge or an award of being “the nice guy”, only to never have the awareness that it isn’t creating any connectedness.
Kindness is definitely not less than and it is not being nice.
Kindness is a place where in a land where we are all struggling, it’s called respect and responsibility and resilience.
We live in South Africa.
We don’t know the luxury of living in a free country where there are many systems in place to protect people from harm.
We can’t even go for a walk down to church without being afraid of being attacked for one’s shoes or clothes and I live in a “good” area.
I’m kind and respectful but I’m not nice, or transactional in any way shape or form. Where are you from anyway?
USA ?
We love our beloved country as much as I bet you love yours, but we have our own challenges, and we are a very mixed nation in our neighbourhood so….
Sorry to rant but we are not a ——Little Tinpot country.
We are here, and we are staying and all of us just want peace and the dignity of employment so we can earn our crust for our families. We don’t bleat and blah-blah-blah about our challenges as no one cares and that’s okay.
so so beautiful. busted the myth of kindness being the only socially acceptable attitude towards people. sometimes kindness requires too much and that is when politeness enters the stage. forced kindness is performative and produces a bittersweet reaction as opposed to the truthful kind, that comes directly from the source that pulses blood into the veins, one's heart, which can go a long way in making life even a fraction more bearable for the person on the receiving end.
I wonder how kindness and politeness both relate to honesty. Sometimes, kindness and honesty are not tied together, and can be enemies in a way. Especially the trend of “brutal honesty”, it’s not kind and can be very mean. It’s most likely evident to the giver, but how can the receiver decipher cruelty-intended honesty to kind honesty?
I’m focusing on discernment as a way to manage more intentional kindness. Love isn’t finite, but time is, so I want to interact with fewer people (and their content, messages, etc) as a way to have more expansiveness within my responses.
This is such a needed deconstruction. I didn't realize I felt so much pressure to be kind all the time, and it is a relief to let that go. It is only for certain circumstances, when it is real, when it comes from my soul. Thanks for the healing insights!
Good morning....and I mean that unconditionally! I wish you a "good morning" as a hope for you and a greeting too.
I understand the concept that you describe so well. I'm a registered nurse and have been for 44 years. The care that I like to give to people that I have the privilege of meeting in my job, is genuine and unconditional. Yes, it's my job, my profession, my training, but I do believe that we need to access ourselves too. Our innate human kind- that's apt to use too isn't it! We are human beings, not human doings as I'm often reminded. But it's easier to ' do' something without much thought,than 'be' something unconditionally for others, with a genuine spirit of humility.
I really enjoy reading your posts, thank you so much for your inspiration and sharing of thoughts. 😌
I love this perception! I’m in my final year of nursing school and I want my profession to be more than that. I want it to be genuine and unconditional. Thank you for sharing!
I feel like so much of todays world suffers of this same lack. Its all doing without the feeling behind it. And its just not the same. We build houses, but they have no character anymore. We know how to talk therapy talk, but we forgot to focus on the most important part: the feeling behind those words. So now it all feels like a performance, but you cant say anything because technically theyre saying it right. We do all these things that are supposed to make our lifes better, easier, happier. But its all a performance. And thus it doesnt work. It leaves us feeling empty. And maybe even more depleted. Because instead of taking care of ourselves, we were just doing another performance.
As someone who has shrunk or overexerted myself, sacrificing my comfort for someone else's often, this post was helpful. I appreciated the part about how kindness is expensive, and it doesn't only take the form of being "nice" or pleasing someone. Sometimes, kindness involves leaving a situation, speaking your truth, or breaking a cycle.
It's giving people the opportunity to really show up and to feel, rather than the levitation we all seem to be engaged in as we float through our days surfing the internet, double-tapping, monitoring our imessage notifications, like we're at a slot machine.
I personally feel a bit drained and know I am not alone in this feeling. I feel I've given too much without really checking in with what I need and communicating that accordingly. I'm trying to reclaim my own kindness and redefine how I exhibit it... my difference between being polite and being nice.
We are overwhelmed by hundreds of thousands of things daily, most of us are carrying the world's problems on our very shoulders, afraid that with another person's burdens we may collapse. To me, the first step we all should take towards moving closer to kindness is to better understand how we can embody it within.
Nowadays I see how people are surprised when you show a little kindness, I think this society has robotised us more than we would like to accept. But in a chaotic world, both personally and generally, honest kindness can make a difference 🤍.
We do exist in layers, don't we? I so enjoy reading you.
I have a group of friends I hold close to my heart, who showed me the kindness you spoke of. They held my ears open to the hard words I needed to hear but no one else dared to, saw through the “no worries” I’d always say out of habit, and they just kept showing up for me. Until I realised this had been silently mending up the broken state I didn’t even know I was in—and changed me for the better.
It wasn’t until we all had to go our separate ways—and I found myself wanting to be that person for others—that I truly understood how hard it actually is to do that well. I used to think they were simply gifted in their personality, able to give so freely, but now I see the weight of that choice. And still, because I’ve known what it feels like to receive it and the difference it can make, I’ll keep trying to show up, too. These moments of kindness definitely will make the world a better place.
I think I’ll take a moment today to tell those friends how much they mean to me. Thank you so much for writing this. ❤️
I live in Texas and politeness is a way of life. Extended ‘thank yous’, ‘maams’, ‘sirs’, holding doors as an expectation, and all the other niceties.
I agree that we have become programmed to operate a way that we no longer understand why. Some people wear it like a badge or an award of being “the nice guy”, only to never have the awareness that it isn’t creating any connectedness.
Kindness is definitely not less than and it is not being nice.
Kindness is a place where in a land where we are all struggling, it’s called respect and responsibility and resilience.
We live in South Africa.
We don’t know the luxury of living in a free country where there are many systems in place to protect people from harm.
We can’t even go for a walk down to church without being afraid of being attacked for one’s shoes or clothes and I live in a “good” area.
I’m kind and respectful but I’m not nice, or transactional in any way shape or form. Where are you from anyway?
USA ?
We love our beloved country as much as I bet you love yours, but we have our own challenges, and we are a very mixed nation in our neighbourhood so….
Sorry to rant but we are not a ——Little Tinpot country.
We are here, and we are staying and all of us just want peace and the dignity of employment so we can earn our crust for our families. We don’t bleat and blah-blah-blah about our challenges as no one cares and that’s okay.
Peace and respect
Carol Power
Johannesburg
South Africa
so so beautiful. busted the myth of kindness being the only socially acceptable attitude towards people. sometimes kindness requires too much and that is when politeness enters the stage. forced kindness is performative and produces a bittersweet reaction as opposed to the truthful kind, that comes directly from the source that pulses blood into the veins, one's heart, which can go a long way in making life even a fraction more bearable for the person on the receiving end.
I wonder how kindness and politeness both relate to honesty. Sometimes, kindness and honesty are not tied together, and can be enemies in a way. Especially the trend of “brutal honesty”, it’s not kind and can be very mean. It’s most likely evident to the giver, but how can the receiver decipher cruelty-intended honesty to kind honesty?
I’m focusing on discernment as a way to manage more intentional kindness. Love isn’t finite, but time is, so I want to interact with fewer people (and their content, messages, etc) as a way to have more expansiveness within my responses.
I like this blog! Its like comefort food for the soul! :)
This is such a needed deconstruction. I didn't realize I felt so much pressure to be kind all the time, and it is a relief to let that go. It is only for certain circumstances, when it is real, when it comes from my soul. Thanks for the healing insights!
YES. ❤️
Thank you for these words. I didn’t even know how much I needed them until I read them. Grateful for folks like you.
This is brilliant. You helped me understand a lot of what I inuitively felt. Thank you ❤️🔥 beautifully written too